i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
