He uses pillows to masturbate.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
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she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
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