are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
