She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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