Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.