nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
