And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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