If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize