ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
