PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
