Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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