she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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