We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
