My brain says no but my pants say off.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
