she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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