I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize