he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
