Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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