He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
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Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
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All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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