You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize