Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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