I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
