I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
