I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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