the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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