okay pat passed out under dana's car
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
