They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
