There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
