And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
