I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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