hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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