everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
