...so i touched it.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Randomize
