Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
