Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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