I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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