I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
