I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
