Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
