You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
it's like heaven, but drunker
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
They have beer where we have blood.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
