i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Naked. naked and bneed help.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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