yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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