i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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