The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
