dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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