We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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