my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
send nudes
from the living room?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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