i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
