While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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