Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize