in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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