he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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