I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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