Midget sex pt 2 tonight
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize