Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
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