Your face is a jimmy john
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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