my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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