it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
