there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
