he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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