I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Congratulations! We have a period
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
