Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
