I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
It's shark week go big or go home
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
